[Intro]
              
This song is a

              
bout a problem

                  
 that I have
       
Frequently

    

     



[Verse 1]
           
There are thre

              
e, three, thre

             
e kinds of ere


ctions
         
Some are sexua

l
              
Some occur dur

         
ing periods of

         
 nervous tensi

)
on
    
But there's a 

mysterious thi

rd kind
     
That no one re

ally understan

ds
   
It happens whe

n your shlong 

decides
         
To take matter

              
s into its own

 
 hands

[Chorus]
           
No reason bone

r
          
No reason bone

r
            
It baffles sci

   
entists
           
No reason bone

           
r

[Verse 2]
     
This morning I

 was having br

eakfast

At the Midtown

 diner
    
The bagel was 

delicious
         
And the colesl

              
aw couldn't be

 
 finer
        
I got a weird 

look from the 

waitress
       
When I asked h

er for the che

ck

I looked down 

and realized
          
I was one hund

           
red percent er

(#
ect

[Chorus]
          
No reason bone

r
          
No reason bone

r
            
I like colesla

              
w but not that

 
 much
          
No reason bone

r

[Bridge 1]

Hi! Welcome to

 the post offi

ce

Thanks! I just

 need to mail 

this package

No problem, ju

st place it on

 the scale

Sure thing!
              
Oh! Oh god! I,


 I can't right

 now!

Why not?

I, I have to g

o, I have a, u

h
              
Doctor's appoi

              
ntment at the 

              
dentist's!

[Verse 3]
    
Now things are

 a little awkw

ard
        
Between my mai

lman and I

That was not m

y best lie
           
I was just cov

           
ering up for m


y

[Chorus]
          
No reason bone

r
          
No reason bone

r
             
That was the w

             
rong kind of p

          
ackage to mail
          
No reason bone

r

[Bridge 2]

Hi! Welcome to

 the zoo!

Great! I love 

the zoo! Look 

at all those m

onkeys!

Actually, thos

e technically 

aren't monkeys

, they're maca

ques
    
Wow! Macaque's

 really hairy
              
Uh, so, what t

              
ime does the z

          
oo close?

About eight o'

clock

Great! That gi

ves me a chanc

e t- Oh god

Oh, not not no

w! Not in fron

t of the child

ren!
              
Why have you f

            
orsaken me lor

         
d!?

[Verse 4]
     
This is no lau

ghing matter
        
This is not so

me kind of gam

e
      
I can tuck awa

y my Johnson
          
But I can neve

             
r tuck away th

  
e shame
       
It can happen 

anytime
       
It can happen 

anywhere

When the Loch 

Ness Monster
              
Decides he wan

         
ts to randomly

             
 come up for a


ir

[Chorus]
          
No reason bone

r, oh
          
No reason bone

r
            
You're ruining

    
 my life
           
No reason bone

     
r
           
No reason bone

     
r
           
No reason bone

      
r

Why?
N.C.
Boner