Intro

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Verse
             
It's funny how

              
 some fables b

      
ecame historic
             
When the autho

              
rs clearly wro

              
te them to be 


metaphoric
             
But people wil

              
l believe anyt

             
hing if it's w

ritten
            
Especially in 

              
stone or ancie

     
nt scroll
             
December 25th 

         
has been black

listed
             
Since Dawkins 

              
found the proo

              
f Jesus never 


existed
             
It was the las

              
t thing anyone

      
 ever expected

Xmas has been 

X'd

Chorus
             
No colored lig

              
hts, no shoppi

    
ng sprees
             
No more presen

              
ts under dead 


trees
            
St. Nick is de

              
ad but we don'

  
t grieve
             
We celebrate t

              
he last Christ

    
mas Eve

Verse
             
Jesuits are sl

             
owly turning D


ianetic
             
Protestants in

              
creasingly bec

    
ome agnostic
             
Pentecostal ch

              
urches are han

     
ging pentagram

s
            
Priests and Nu

              
ns are molesti

         
ng each other
             
Methodists and

              
 Baptists are 

         
claiming Buddh

ist
             
Evangelicals s

              
urprisingly ar

  
e Nudist
             
But mostly eve

              
ryone is tryin

       
g to become Je

w
    
Cuz Easter's c

anceled too

Chorus
             
No more egg hu

              
nts, no Sunday

 
 mass
             
Fridays are fa

              
ir, Wednesdays

       
 don't ash
              
They canceled 

            
lent and slowe

       
d down fast
             
Enjoy Christma

              
s cuz it's you

    
r last
            
No shopping sp

rees (don't wo

rry son)
             
No more presen

              
ts (we don't n

              
eed Christ) un

         
der dead trees

 (we got eight

 nights)
            
St. Nick is de

              
ad (we got mit

              
zvah) but we d

     
on't grieve (t

hey won't canc

el)
             
We celebrate (

              
our hanukah) t

              
he last Christ

    
mas eve