This tab is based on the Youtube lesson submitted by Scott Burford
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldxCALDIPRc

2021 Version:
- Omit the 2& downstrum from the strumming pattern
- Replace the 3rd Verse lyrics "Just a little too much cologne"
  with "What was his problem? He never did get Nina Simone"

Chords (Ignore the chord diagrams above)
          022100
  x44200
      x66400
      x77600
     799800


[Intro]
            
            

[Verse]
             
    Hello Dan,

 
    it's Joe h

ere,
         
    I hope you

            
're keeping we


ll,
             
    it’s the 2

           
1st of Decembe


r
         
    now they’r

              
e ringing the 

     
last bell.
         
    If I get g

               
ood behaviour
         
    I'll be ou

              
t of here by J

     
uly,
             
    won’t you 

              
kiss my kids o

  
n Christmas da

y,
      
    please don

        
't let them cr

      
y for me.
        

[Verse]
             
    I guess th

              
e brothers are

              
 driving down 

     
from Queenslan

d
         
    and Stella

              
's flying in f

        
rom the coast.
             
    They say i

              
t's gonna be a

         
 hundred degre


es, even more 

maybe,
         
    but that w

     
on't stop the 

roast.
         
    Who's gonn

           
a make the gra


vy now?
         
    I bet it w

              
on't taste the

 
 same
             
    Just add f

            
lour, salt, a 


little red win

e and don't fo

rget a
         
dollop of toma

             
to sauce for s

#
weetness and t

hat extra tang

.

[Bridge]
              
And give my lo

             
ve to Angus an

     
d to Frank and

 Dolly,
              
Tell 'em all I

         
'm sorry I scr

     
ewed up this t

ime.
              
And look after

             
 Rita, I'll be

          
 thinking of h


er,
              
early Christma

         
s morning, whe

      
n I'm standing

   
 in line.
        

[Verse]
             
    I hear Mar

              
y's got a new 


boyfriend,
         
    I hope he 

             
can hold his o

#
wn
             
    Do you rem

              
ember the last

      
 one?    What 


was his name a

gain?
         
    Just a lit

              
tle too much c

    
ologne 
         
    And Roger,

              
 you know I'm 

           
even gonna mis


s Roger
         
'Cause there's

              
 sure as hell 

              
no one in here

 
 I want to fig

ht

[Bridge]
              
Oh praise the 

             
Baby Jesus, ha

           
ve a Merry Chr


istmas,
              
I'm really gon

         
na miss it, al

              
l the treasure

         
 and the trash
              
And later in t

             
he evening, I 

          
can just imagi


ne,
              
You'll put on 

         
Junior Murvin 

              
and push the t

      
ables back
              
And you'll dan

             
ce with Rita, 

              
I know you rea

    
lly like her,
              
Just don't hol

         
d her too clos

              
e, oh brother 


please don't s

tab me in the 

back
              
I didn't mean 

             
to say that, i

              
t's just my mi

      
nd it plays up


,
              
Multiplies eac

         
h matter, turn

        
s imagination 


into fact
              
You know I lov

             
e her badly, s

              
he's the one t

  
o save me,
              
I'm gonna make

         
 some gravy, I

              
'm gonna taste

     
 the fat
              
Tell her that 

             
I'm sorry, yea

             
h I love her b

#
adly,
              
tell 'em all I

         
'm sorry, and 

              
kiss the sleep

  
y children for

 me.
              
You know one o

             
f these days, 

              
I'll be making

 
 gravy,
              
I'll be making

         
 plenty, I'm g

     
onna pay 'em a

   
ll back.
          

[Outro]