[Intro]

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3-4-|

[Verse 1]
             
They could pre

              
scribe you any

              
 illness you l

            
ike, if you de

              
fine the terms

         
 of your ailme

nt
              
You could sing

              
 a pretty mala

              
dy like a blac

              
k canary,  but

            
 a crow don't 

              
know the smell

   
 of carbon mon

oxide
             
How many years

              
 have you been

              
 on that couch

              
? They coulda 

            
quilt'd you in

              
 the throws by

 
 now
              
You draw a lin

              
e in the sand,

              
 where it ends

              
 and you begin

            
, but the tide

              
 rolls in, so 

    
who knows? Oh,

 well.

[Chorus 1]
            
And a little i

        
dentity never 

hurt nobody,
            
oh but lately 

              
you've been fo

            
cusing too muc

h on yourself
            
So how many mi

              
lligrams of yo

              
u are still le

     
ft in there?
            
‘Cause back in

              
 my day we did

             
n't need no fe

            
el-good pills,

             
 and no psychi


atrists
            
No we just dra

          
nk ourselves t

      
o death, and g

.
oddammit we li

ked it

[Short instrumental]

      

      

[Verse 2]
             
Who makes the 

              
call, what's a

              
 symptom, what

              
’s a flaw? Cou

         
ld it be both?
              
Well I suppose

           
 that’s an ans

wer
              
Would you give

              
 up your human

              
ity for just a

              
 touch of sani

            
ty? ‘Cause god

              
 knows, it’s n

            
ot like its ca

ncer!
             
And good news 

              
to the purist,

              
 they discover

              
ed a cure for 

            
the symptoms o

        
f being alive
              
It’s a painles

              
s procedure wi

              
th a low rate 

              
of failure, bu

            
t very few pat

      
ients survive!

[Chorus 2]
            
And a little c

             
onformity neve

              
r hurt nobody,

            
 but lately I'

              
ve been worrie

              
d that you're 

 
losing yoursel

f
            
So how many mi

              
lligrams of yo

              
u are still le

      
ft in there?
            
‘Cause back in

              
 my day we did

             
n't need no fe

            
el-good pills,

             
 and no psychi


atrists
            
No we just ble

        
d out in our b

    
aths, and godd

ammit we liked

 it

[Instrumental]

      

      

[Piano Solo]

[Bridge]

            
Doctor, what's

              
 my prognosis 

       
if the studies

 show that
             
Disease is in 

              
the eye of the

 
 beholder
            
Tell me so it 


goes
              
We depress to 

             
impress, I gue

            
ss, in layer a

              
fter layer to 

    
get off our ch

ests
     
It’s cold out 

now, we can ta

ke it off late

r
             
Better safe th

              
an sorry and w

  
e both know th

e dangers
            
So doctor, cou

           
ld you run ano

ther test?
             
Got a feeling 

              
this time I mi

             
ght just pass 

              
it, well if yo

          
u raise the av

erage!
            
We all sing wh

             
en the bell cu

              
rve rings, in 

            
lyrics symptom

            
atic of the wa

y we think
            
If our harmoni

              
es don't sync,

              
 we can change

              
 our voices, o

    
ur chorus unco

nditional of d

iagnosis

[Chorus 3]
            
Back in my day

             
 we didn't nee

              
d no feel good

            
 pills, and no

       
 psychiatrists
            
What can I say

              
 except don't 

            
heed no evil w

             
ills of moral 

 
nihilists
            
I said back in

              
 the days of l

             
obotomies, sho

            
ck therapies, 

          
and mad scient

ists!
             
Oh don't you m

        
ake me waste m

      
y breath, and 

goddammit—

[Instrumental solo]

      

[Piano Riff]

[Final verse]
             
Is your identi

             
ty at stake? D

              
oes aspirin ki

              
ll you with th

  
e pain?
              
You're not you

              
r thoughts, yo

              
u're not your 

             
brain, you're 

              
just that char

             
acter you've m

ade
              
Up in your hea

              
d, down in you

             
r heart, what 

              
seem like sepa

          
rate body part

s
              
Just come toge

             
ther to believ

              
e they're you,

              
 and not just 


chemistry
              
It’s not the w

             
ay you were ra

              
ised, not what

              
 the advertise

       
ments say
              
Not what you p

              
ay for, what y

             
ou pray for, w

              
hat you want o

           
r what you say
              
And I see your

             
 tendency to r

             
edefine diseas

              
e by what you 

 
need,
              
and I'm afraid

             
 I can't presc

              
ribe the diagn

              
osis that you 

 
seek
              
But something 

              
tells me that 

            
you need, forg

              
ive me now if 

   
I misspeak,
              
but something 

              
tells me that 

    
you like, yeah

 something tel

ls me—
            
That you prefe

r

To be sitting there flipping through those old issues of People
          
Well that's ou

              
r time, see yo

              
u same time ne

            
xt week